Je Ne Sais Quoi

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It’s a perfectly draped Pucci scarf, the subtle pairing of Chanel ballet flats with flawless white jeans, and an understated vintage Cartier timepiece peeking out from beneath a cuffed sleeve. It is the ability to master an on-trend look, like a motorcycle jacket layered over an ultra-feminine chiffon mini dress, in a simple and unique way. And above all, it’s making it look easy – accidental, if you will. French women are seemingly born with this elegance, this “je ne sais quoi” along with few gifted American gals – you know the ones; they’re effortlessly chic, abnormally confident and induce a feeling of total inadequacy in all they encounter.

For me, merely passing one of these women on the street leads to an onslaught of self loathing. For the rest of the walk home I am consumed with my imperfections. My outfit is suddenly a complete disaster (what was I thinking?!), not to mention that my face too narrow, my thighs are too wide (why can’t my legs look like that in skinny jeans?), my blonde too blonde and my makeup too gaudy (was she even wearing makeup? No one can look like that naturally…can they?). By the time I reach my front door I’ve resolved to cut processed sugar from my diet, consult a plastic surgeon about this nose of mine and invest in fabulous accessories (everything would look better with an Hermes belt).

The Chic Girl’s “je ne sais quoi” goes beyond good looks and a killer wardrobe. It’s a intrinsic quality - how else could she strut around town in sky high pumps and harem pants with such ease, or know instinctively when to belt it? These elegant women exude an aura of self assurance, frequently interpreted by moi as perfection. The unattainable kind of perfection that I will never be good enough to achieve.

It is the Chic Girl who brings out my insecurities, while for some it’s the Skinny Girl, the Popular Girl, the Talented Girl, the Rich Girl; the list goes on. Are these girls really perfect, or can we only see in them what we find most conspicuously absent in ourselves? Their envy-inducing quality must be more than skin deep, for the even most beautiful woman in the world would go unnoticed if she walked slumped over and devoid of confidence. The woman who makes your head turn is the one who enters the room as if she owns it, regardless of her style, beauty or wealth. It is the individual who takes pride in her uniqueness and celebrates her foibles that we are drawn to; unfortunately, when a woman’s uniqueness aligns with our weakness we are threatened.

There is no fast solution. Even the highest pair of Louboutin’s won’t imbue you with true “Je ne sais quoi”. It can only be achieved through total love and acceptance of ourselves - back fat and all. So, the next time I run into a dazzling Chic Girl and feel the self destructive comparisons rising to the surface, I will shift my attention to admire her fabulous posture and striking direct eye contact instead of focusing on how much better my life would be if I had the diamond encrusted Yurman necklace dangling from her neck. Instead of resenting her, maybe I can learn something from her. After all, I'm still just a work in progress.

By Maggie Winterfeldt