One of my resolutions for 2010 is to spend less money, which for me means that I am resolving to give up excessive shopping habits (and maybe even build an actual savings account by 2011…but let’s not get too ambitious). The days of haute poverty, as defined by Carrie Bradshaw’s realization that she had $40,000 worth of Manolo Blahniks instead of money for a down payment on her apartment, have been replaced with a financial consciousness (and a double digit unemployment rate). Not wanting to follow in Ms. Bradshaw’s domicile challenged high-heeled-footsteps, I am attempting to curb my spending habits.
There are essential expenses—food, medical, auto, Aveda highlights, Marie Jo bras etc.—that cannot be cut, and consistent seasonal expenses—water-proof mascara in June, tall leather boots in October, NYE party dress in December—that pop up perennially, like Chrysanthemums. These expenses are predictable and can be budgeted for. The cause of my perpetual brokenness is the internet.
The convenience and discretion enabled by online shopping has exacerbated my spending problem. Now, not only can I hide my dirty addiction beneath the shadowy glow of a laptop screen, but I can do so at my leisure. Malls are for athletic people. I want to shop in bed wearing my Bluefly, off-price designer PJ’s, and eating my Delivery.com takeout, before being lulled to sleep by a non-prescribed Canadian Xanax. Online shopping makes this opulent lifestyle possible.
The internet provides immediate access to hard-to-find goods and passing fancies. Things I would never take the time to search out in the “real” world are merely a Google search away; my favorite Chanel lipstick color that was discontinued a year ago? It’s available at an obscure cosmetic retailer in Japan. It would be remiss not to seize the opportunity by purchasing five tubes. Kate Spade Paper for holiday “thank you” notes? It’s now 25% off when you use the online coupon from RetailMeNot. Undoubtedly, a necessary splurge—after all, how grateful can you really be if you’re sending the note on ordinary stationary?
The omnipresent online designer discounters that occupy the web are no help. A year ago it was Rue La La and Guilt, I mean Gilte Group that had me running to my computer at 11am and 12pm, respectively. Today, Haute Look, Ideeli and The Fairest dominate my entire morning. It’s virtually impossible to get anything accomplished before noon. No matter how ridiculously outside your price range that Lela Rose dress is, when an online sample sale takes the price from the quadruple to triple digits, it becomes an irresistible steal. Add the $25 referral credit you received when your friend made a purchase and the dress is practically free!
Priority packages pile up outside my door, but I’m unconcerned. I can hire a courier off of Craigslist to bring them from my porch to my room, where I lay in my Overstock Egyptian Cotton 1500-thread count sheet clad bed. After more consideration, I’m finding this resolution a bit too overwhelming. Perhaps I’ll just resolve to make more money this year, as to better accommodate my shopping habits. I hear you can make millions by taking surveys and viewing ads online!
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